Why do I Write?

Why does one want to do anything? Because I find joy and pleasure in sitting down and praying to God every day that my work is unique, only to suffer from impostor syndrome. Then realize that I am a novice at a craft that many people before me fail at, only to feel the crushing despair of others telling me how my work “sounds like” or “I can write it better.”

              Only to see my bank account drained as I have to find illustrators that are not crazy or have “higher than God self-esteem,” who will not work with me because I have one hundred or so followers on twitter or three hundred followers on Facebook. Then find a competent editor who is versed in the English dialect and diction. This is because my primary language is Spanish, and I decided to write in another language that I have only superior and not natural mastery.

               I have an overactive imagination, which is why I am a quiet person when around people who I feel comfortable. I see things when I close my eyes; I can safely say I “feel” my imagination. What I mean is, I can close my eyes and remember how the ocean breeze feels like or how I think magic should tingle on the tips of my fingers. I can imagine how heavy a fist from a golem can weigh or how scary a phantom can be. I can see how scales from a dragon can shimmer or what an arcane spell residue smell would be.

              I write because it’s one of the only things I have that is mine alone, and I wish to share a fun story and showcase my talent in a world filled with real talent. I write because even though everyone else thinks my stories might be crap, I know I completed a project from start to finish. I write to listen to people who have no idea what they are talking about tell me how to write my stories.

              I find joy in words; I find happiness in legends and myths. I want to be someone who writes sagas. I want to create and leave a positive impact on someone who needs it while retaining a life lesson. I want people to laugh at the craziness of my characters, to gasp at the plot twists, and cry when they die.

              I do this stressful hobby because even though there are so many cards stacked against me, I know a Jack and an Ace of Spades will be drawn soon.